Weenies
by MidnaKun
Summary: Leon Kuwata is sad.


Leon had a problem.

Everyone at school was always calling him a weenie. He could always hear them in the hallways, and it really upset him.

"Leon Kuwata is a weenie. Pass it on," was a common thing that the young man had to deal with as he roamed from class to class. He almost decided to bring earplugs to school every day to block it out, but he decided against it, choosing instead to just avoid groups.

But it just got to become more and more of a problem, especially when he opened his locker one day and a cascade of notes all saying 'leon kuwata is a weenie pass it on" fell out and buried him, leaving him humiliated in front of his love interest, Naegi.

So he eventually went to the principal, who directed hi to the Nurse because he was busy.

Nurse Mikan was an interesting person, a "panty-shot character" who was, though very intelligent in her field, very prone to assuming what people meant instead of what they said, which left Leon very upset, knowing that he definitely wasn't going to get any help here.

So it surprised him that, after hearing his problem, Mikan came up with a solution that seemed like it could work. She suggested that maybe he could become an actual weenie,which would impress Naegi and shut everybody else up. She gave him a pill, and said that it would be the first step to the process, which she assured was very short. Leon swallowed it without hesitating, and this is where our majestic story begins.

"Uhn..."

Leon's eyes flickered slightly as he tried to open them. His head hurt, and whatever Mikan had given him definitely wasn't registering well with his stomach. He felt slightly sick, but he slowly opened his eyes.

"What...?"

Leon was strapped to the wall, his arms and legs splayed like that one guy Da Vinci drew. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Mikan humming happily by the sink, washing her hands.

Leon spoke nervously. "Uh... Nurse? What are you doing? Why am I strapped to the wall?"

Mikan appeared to not have heard him, and simply turned off the sink and grabbed some plastic gloves out from a dispenser nearby.

Leon spoke again, only slightly louder and more agitated this time. "Nurse1 Why am I strapped to the wall of your office?!"

Mikan turned to him, nosily pulling the gloves on. "Well, didn't you say you wanted to become an official weenie?"

Leon was confused. "Go on..."

Mikan bent down into a cupboard, and started rummaging around. "Well, that's exactly what I'm going to do! Just like you wanted!"

Leon nodded, and then frowned. "But then why do I have to be strapped to the wall? I thought that this would be just a simple injection!"

Mikan stood up, and dashed out of the room, muttering under her breath that she had to go to the kitchen.

 _What?_

Leon shook his head, and started struggling to get out of his bonds. However, they were very strong, and Leon was sure that he could make out duct tape at his feet. He slumped, and almost started to cry.

 _Wait a minute. Why am I crying? This is good! Nurse Mikan must know what she's doing; she's a nurse! I'm going to become a true weenie, and totally impress Naegi!_

Leon smiled, confident in Nurse Mikan to make him a superior weenie. That'll teach 'em, Leon thought. That'll teach 'em to call me a weenie in the halls. Soon I will be a weenie!

Nurse Mikan cam running back into the room with a tray full of tubes. She quickly slammed the door behind her, locked it, and set the tray down on the table.

Leon gestured with his head at the tray as best he could. "What are those for?"

Mikan pulled out a syringe and started emptying one of the tubes into it. "Weenies. These are for... Making them."

She paused for a little bit, as though trying to choose her words as best she could, before setting the syringe down, now full. As she began to fill up another syringe with a different substance, Leon tried to make out what was in the first syringe. It was a yellow, coarse... Liquid? It certainly didn't look like a liquid, as it looked almost sludgy, and had specks of black in it, but so small that Leon could barely make them out from where he was on the wall.

"Nurse?"

Mikan put down the second syringe, not full with a reddish liquid not unlike the look of consistency of the yellow sludge. "Yes, Leon?"

"Why am I tied to the wall? Do I have to be?"

Mikan turned to him with a pair of scissors in her hands, her eyes gleaming. "Unfortunately, you do. I can't have you squirming."

Leon gulped, his eyes staring worryingly at the scissors. Mikan noticed his glanced at the scissors, and smiled. "Don't worry. These aren't going to cut you up."

She took a step closer to him and slid her hand down to his jeans, unbuttoning them and slipping them down his legs almost professionally.

Leon started to sweat profusely, and blinked multiple times, rapidly. "Nurse Mikan! What-"

She paid no attention to him, yanking down his boxers, and holding up his limp member. Leon almost yelled, but bit it back. Maybe this was standard procedure.

He attempted to make a joke out of the situation, laughing nervously and saying, "U-Um, it's a good thing you're wearing gloves, right?"

Mikan finally looked up at him, grinning. "Oh, that's not what the gloves are for, Leon. Not at all."

Leon was starting to get that feeling in his throat, that feeling of panic, worry, and confusion. He decided to try and change subjects, which seemed almost out of place in this drastic, confusing situation. "Um... Okay, then, what are in those syringes?"

Nurse Mikan was inspecting Leon penis, frowning at it, before getting up and walking over to the cupboards that lined the wall. "Leon, isn't it obvious? I thought you said you wanted to be a weenie; you should know what's in them."

She continued rummaging, but Leon was confused. He turned his attention back to the syringes again, scrutinizing them as closely as he could. They certainly looked recognizable, but he just couldn't place what they were. All he knew was, they filled him with a sense of dread.

Mikan came back over with an odd tube-like instrument in one hand and a fork in the other. "Well? Do you understand now?"

Leon kept staring at the syringes, trying to recall where he had seen that yellow sludge, that red tint, that texture...

 _No._

Leon gasped, causing Mikan to clap her hands happily. "I knew you'd get it! I knew it!" She bent down again, now eye to eye with Leon's genitals.

Leon started straining against his bondage again. " Mikan, are you fucking crazy? I said weenie, not wiener!"

Mikan looked up at Leon almost seductively. "What are you talking about? They're both he same thing, aren't they?" She squeezed his testicles experimentally, causing a loud squeal from Leon.

"But, Mikan! I thin I've changed-"

Mikan stood up and grabbed a tube from the tray that Leon hadn't noticed before and started pushing some buttons. "Leon, you said you wanted to become a true weenie to impress Mikan, correct? There's no going back now. Ooh!"

Leon started to panic, his heart racing as he frantically flailed his arms around in an attempt to escape. Mikan, on the other hand, pranced over to her cabinet and grabbed a thin, metal fork from it. "I almost forgot! If you don't poke holes in your weenie before you put it in the microwave, it'll explode! That's what my mom told me at least."

Leon gulped as she sat down and lay Leon's member onto her gloved hand. She lined up the fork, and glanced up at a tear-stricken Leon.

"Leon, don't worry! Think happy things!"

And then she punctured.

If Leon could describe the initial pain to someone, and note the 'could', he would have said that it was like having toothpicks stabbed into your legs over and over again until they punctured the other side of said leg, and the process was then repeated for the other side. Leon was screaming in agony, blabbering on and on, as Mikan tried to poke holes into Leon's penis.

Now, it must be said that Mikan was not exactly the brightest bulb, and had no idea that Leon was in such pain. She just talked on and on about how it was necessary to let the air flow so that when she heated it it wouldn't explode, because goodness knows that that was the worst that could happen to Leon at this moment. It was made worse by the fact that a white-yellowish liquid was starting to pour out of the holes that Mikan made, meaning that sometimes Mikan would miss and scrape skin off of Leon's penis, which she would apologize for and then try again, with leon passing out eventually.

But eventually there were 12 neat(somewhat) little holes lining Leon's penis, causing Mikan to lean back and sigh in blood-soaked satisfaction.

But, she reminded herself, she wasn't done yet. She picked up the tube and slipped it onto Leon's penis, turning a dial on the side to about forty second(which is ten seconds longer than one should microwave one's hot-dogs), and pressed start.

The resulting heat instantly woke Leon up from his blissful coma, and he started to spasm in his bonds, as the hairs on his legs started to stick up, and his dick began to stiffen, but not from pleasure. His eyes rolled back in his head, and Mikan took no notice as Leon passed out once more, but only to be awakened once again by her soothing touch on his penis. She had just taken the tube off, and her hands were now gloveless, examining her diabolical creation.

Leon throat felt almost rusty, and he whispered, "Make... make it stop...".

Mikan glanced up at him and smiled kindly. "Leon? What do you mean? I have to heat it some more? It didn't burn my hand, see?" She held up her hand, which was indeed not burned.

Leon almost went mad. To have to withstand that again until his member, what was arguably his most prized possession be on fire, and touching the most sensitive spot of any male would be hell. Not even, it would be where Satan would send the worst people, those who had sinned so much that they couldn't recognized good if it fucked them up the ass.

But Mikan smiled, and patted his chest. "Just kidding!" She walked over to the table to get the ketchup and mustard, with Leon so angry to even try to say something. He decided to look down and see the damage done to his penis.

He immediately wished that he hadn't. It really did look like a hot-dog: swollen and charred, with a nasty split at the head. Leon needed to pee, but his urethra was surely crushed, as all he could feel was a dull, building pressure near his abdomen. He cried, but Mikan took no notice as she came back over with the bottles.

"Now, I think that to make this easier, I'm going to combine these two bottles so that this doesn't take as long, okay?"

Leon didn't respond, couldn't respond, and simply slumped his head to indicate a yes.

Mikan nodded in response, and quickly mixed the two bottles together. When she was done, she bent down once more to Leon's member, and inserted the top of the bottle into the split at the head. It fit almost too perfectly, and Leon winced at the stab of pain caused by mere contact.

Mikan spoke, all serious now. "Leon, this is the second-to-last part, here. But, this is the part that will hurt the most, okay?"

And without waiting for an answer, she squeezed, sending the contents of the bottle into the Penis of Leon Kuwata.

Leon screamed. And screamed. His penis was getting ripped apart, and the burns on his penis were suddenly coming aflame with the acidic mustard coursing through. The force completely tore his penis in half and started separating his testicles from his body as the hole made earlier by Mikan worked against Leon, allowing more force to stay and build up even more. Blood splattered everywhere. Mikan, panicking slightly, began pushing the bottle in even further, determined to squeeze out every last drop of the horrendous ketchup-mustard concoction.

Leon couldn't take it. His heart went into overdrive and collapsed, killing him and leaving Mikan with blood, gore, semen, ketchup, and mustard on her face. Leon had died trying to become what he had always wanted to be.

But, in a way, he did become it. Mikan would, after she got over her grief in a whopping five minutes, cut of his penis, put a bun on it, and serve it to Naegi, who commented that, while it was a little messy, the meaty was really, well meaty, and that Mikan should tell her what she did to make it taste so good.

So, I guess, they all lived happily ever after.

And the moral of this story is, don't follow your dreams. Become a telemarketer. You don't want to become like poor Leon, who died following his dream, now would you?

Peace.


End file.
